I was recently talking to a friend who is walking through some deep waters in his marriage and family. As we were unpacking some of the issues he is facing and I was recommending some resources for him, we became mutually aware of a disturbing reality.

He has been a believer for many years and has been a part of “gospel-preaching” churches—some that even add the word “full” to their gospel. He has heard multiple sermons on tithing, on the importance of bringing your family to church, getting involved in “ministry”, supporting the vision of the pastor. But he has never been exposed to any substantive, biblical teaching on the role of the father as a shepherd and pastor to his own family.

As the lights went on, my friend became angry, as he realized that many of the things he had been taught in church had not been for the purpose of empowering him to fulfill the primary role God had given him. Instead, he was being systematically programmed to orient his life and his family’s life to support and to become dependent on a religious institution and to subcontract his God-given responsibility to professional clergy.

Two types of people will one day be held accountable for this travesty: first, the pastors who encouraged it for the sake of increasing their egos and ensuring the security of their careers; and second, the lazy and cowardly fathers and husbands who farmed out their responsibilities.

Since the posts this week have been dedicated to evil and whatnot, and since it’s Friday the 13th, [I'm not superstitious, so the title is merely a crass attempt to generate traffic.] I ask you this: What are you praying for your kids? I am tempted to pray that God keeps them safe, protected from all evil. In fact, Matthew 6:13, part of the Lord’s Prayer, seems to encourage me in this.

“And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

Or does it? Actually, I think it could be better translated, “Deliver us from the Evil One.” (I’m not sure why my beloved NASB dropped the ball on this one, and the Non-Inspired Version got it right.) If my reading is correct, it reflects Jesus’ own prayer for us in John 17:15, which uses the same Greek phrase. (The NASB gets it right this time, go figure.):

“I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one.”

So, I pray that Satan will keep his hands of my kids—just like Jesus prayed for us. But I also pray that, as they grow up “in the world”, God will empower them to confront evil on a personal and global scale.

My daughter was recently exposed to a “sex talk” by a well-meaning Christian fool. In the process of withholding my rage and re-educating her I once again became aware of how spiritually bankrupt the church becomes when it divorces the gospel from topics as important as sex.

The gist of the “talk” was an urban-legend style, fear-based appeal to stay out of bed, or you might end up like the girl who spent a crazy weekend with a guy, who afterward gave her an appreciation gift. When she opened the package it contained a little wood coffin, in which was a piece of paper with the words, “Welcome to the world of AIDS.”

Since when is it effective to use fear of death to keep teens out of trouble? My kids want to skydive, jump their bikes over ramps and pick up snakes. They crave danger and risk. Dare I say, it’s how God wired them?

This may sound harsh, but fear is the only wrench in the toolbox of biblically illiterate and immature Christians who are too lazy or ignorant to piece together an articulate biblical case for purity. But what happens when we find a cure for AIDS—and I pray we will? What happens when our advanced culture removes all the potential earthly consequences for sin—and we may?

I heard recently that a college acquaintance succumbed to cancer at 40, and I was reminded again of the blessing and the curse that is cancer.

It’s entirely possible that a cancerous cell is even now lurking somewhere in my body, having received its assignment of mutation from a twisted strand of DNA gone wrong somewhere between me and Adam.

I’m not wishing for it, but I’ve known others who made the transition from life to Life courtesy of a bullet, a windshield or a blocked artery. So, how could I curse God for giving me three months or three years to set my house in order and say goodbye, to drain every last good word from my soul—particularly those that become trapped on the tongue when the Grim Reaper is off attending to someone else’s business?

The thing worse than the physical suffering of the afflicted must be the grief of the long goodbye, the interminable boarding of the plane before it sets off for an exciting new destination, those left behind standing forlorn on the tarmac.

Remember him—before the silver cord is severed,
or the golden bowl is broken;
before the pitcher is shattered at the spring,
or the wheel broken at the well. – Ecclesiastes 12:6

Maybe marriage isn’t about finding the one woman or man who was chosen for you “from the foundations of the earth”–unless, of course, you’re a Calvinist. Maybe it’s about making a relatively uninformed, risky decision in the midst of raging hormones, complete lack of experience and astounding ignorance about what the future holds. Then, take that decision and give it time, energy, commitment, blood, sweat and tears, and you get something that rivals a storybook romance. That’s what I thought of after hearing this morning’s StoryCorps episode on NPR. This is three minutes worth savoring: Seymour and Marcia Gottlieb

John Mayer (whose life is otherwise unremarkable and uncommendable) recommends it:

“Say what you need to say.”

Andrew Peterson, who’s become my favorite Christian musician of late notes the same problem in his song “Don’t Give Up on Me”:

“Got all these letters that I never did write, all this affection I kept inside my heart.”

It’s this unhealthy verbal constipation–for lack of a better term–that causes me to not say the words that need to be said. Encouragement. Commendation. Love. Correction. Most people probably die with unspoken words on their tongues that could have made a difference in the lives of their spouse, their children, their colleagues. Why is it that that I’m so free with the unnecessary things and so reticent to say what needs to be said?

Things I learned from my mother (and am still learning to apply to my own life):

• Serve others, even when it’s not comfortable and nobody notices.
• Love your spouse … all the time.
• Invest in your children, even when they don’t appreciate it.
• If you have a problem, pray about it.
• TV is for losers—read instead.
• If you’re a good reader, you’ll be a good writer. If you’re a good writer, you can cover up your other weaknesses by communicating well.
• Don’t make excuses for yourself.
• Spanking works.

Of course there are many other things my mother taught me–directly and indirectly–but these are a few that came to my mind today as I was thinking about what a good mother I have. She invested so much in her children, at the expense of her own personal comfort and career aspirations. I don’t use the word “sacrifice,” because I don’t think she sees it that way. It is just part of who she is. And that’s why I love her. Happy Mother’s day, Mother!

I’ve never given up anything for Lent, although I know people who’ve given up coffee and chocolate and such. I guess I could have done that, but it wouldn’t have improved my life that much. What I did give up had nothing to do with my diet, but it cleared my mind and heart in a way I didn’t expect. I gave up recreational Web surfing, Twitter, Facebook, etc. for the 40 days leading up to Resurrection Day.

At first it was strange, as I resisted the instinctive urge to check my RSS feeds or Tweet something funny Maddie or Nathan were doing. Then, I got into the groove of being “disconnected” and started to enjoy myself.  Here’s a “stream of consciousness” flow of a few items from my life during Lent:

Read Psalms (highly recommended), Ken Gire’s Moments With the Savior (highly recommended and moving), Dinesh D’Souza’s What’s So Great About Christianity? (also very good) and Greg Mortenson’s Three Cups of Tea (pretty good, but kind of discouraging)… got back into QRP Amateur Radio with the help of my friend, Kelly McClelland … learned how to mind map, which has helped me with some major projects at work … have achieved “email supremacy” with a “zeroed-out” inbox before I go home from work … and have started playing more guitar/piano to help me relax.

So, the goal now is that overused word of the last few years: sustainability, through self-imposed time limits and such. Anyhow, fasting the Web isn’t just for Lent. I’d highly recommend it anytime, if you want to clear your mind to focus more attention on your God, your family and your work.

Nate loves to sleep on the floor in our room, but so does Mini. … And she’s not giving up her spot for anyone. Even her “brother”.