This pre-Halloween article about the dangers of celebrating the holiday somehow evaded my notice until Monday. Here are a few key takeaways, if you don’t read the article:

• Most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.

• Halloween is a counterfeit holy day that is dedicated to celebrating the demonic trinity.

• During Halloween, time-released curses are loosed.

The author’s information about Halloween has apparently been gleaned from her pre-conversion experience and her more recent interaction with witches, warlocks and and other occult practitioners. My question is this: Can you trust a witch?

For example, what if a witch (former or otherwise) says, “Our coven gathers at Walgreens the week before Halloween and cast spells on the bins of candy”? This may be true, but is it true also that the candy is then cursed? If you believe this, aren’t you buying into the false worldview of the witch—a non-biblical deception that suggests inanimate objects can possess spiritual power, both evil and good?

Or if a warlock professes that he believes in the demonic trinity, does that mean that such a “trinity” exists? Furthermore, are “time-released” curses something we should really be worried about? Remember, just because occult practitioners believe these things are real does not make them real.

This is not to say that there are not supernatural realities that engage the real world—I’ve seen them manifest themselves. However, our theology of the supernatural should come from scripture alone, not those who are in bondage to the occult.

Note: Lest you think I am unfairly criticizing the author of this article, I have met and interviewed her for articles, and I’ve never met someone more simultaneously sincere and reckless in her misuse of scripture. If you’re interested, read my article from 2004 titled “Deliverance Malpractice,” in which I interview her.

Yesterday’s sermon on spiritual warfare got me thinking about some of the myths about the devil that I’ve heard over the years.

The devil can hear you. I’ve often heard people recount conversations they’ve had with the devil—and I’m usually a bit suspicious of these claims. Although Satan is a powerful fallen angel, he is not omniscient or omnipresent. As a created being, he is limited by time and space just like you and I are. Satan may dispatch agents to observe your actions and words and report back to him, but attempting to speak to him, command him, personally debate with him, etc. is a fruitless enterprise.

Satan wants you miserable. From Satan’s perspective, unhappy, troubled, impoverished people have this unsavory habit of seeking God for solace. The devil’s priority is simultaneously your temporary comfort and your eternal torment. Consider this instruction from C.S. Lewis’s demon, Screwtape, to his protege: “Prosperity knits a man to the World. He feels that he is ‘finding his place in it,’ while really it is finding its place in him. His increasing reputation, his widening circle of acquaintances, his sense of importance, the growing pressure of absorbing and agreeable work, build up in him a sense of really being at home on Earth, which is just what we want.”

You have authority over Satan. While it is enjoyable to imagine us smashing the devil, it is not something that is in our capacity or authority. Scripture provides no precedent for direct battle with Satan beyond resisting him by submitting to God (James 4:7). Jesus rebuked the disciples for gloating about their success in expelling demons (Luke 10:20). Paul notes that Satan will be crushed under our feet—but that it is God who will do the crushing (Romans 16:20).

Are there other myths about the devil that you’ve encountered?

Christianity Today’s interesting question earlier this week (“Should Christians fast during Ramadan?”) got me thinking about the identity of the god Muslims worship. Is he in some fashion the same deity as the God of the Bible?

Interestingly, Jesus encountered this question in His ministry, when the Pharisees questioned his bona fides in John 8:12-59. The text fairly sizzles, as supposedly “meek and mild” Jesus turns the tables on the Pharisees, calling them sons of Satan and warning these Law-abiding Jews that they will die in their sins because they don’t really know the Father.

Why? Because they didn’t know Jesus.

“You do not know me or my Father,” Jesus tells them. “If you knew me, you would know my Father also.” … “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and now am here. I have not come on my own; but he sent me.”

The God of the Old Testament—the God of the Bible—is the God who revealed Himself as a Middle Eastern peasant about 2,000 years ago. He was rejected by most of His own tribe, killed by a corrupt religious establishment in league with a pagan Roman government. God raised Him from the dead.

If you can’t swallow that, we don’t worship the same God.

My homie Jeff DM-ed me about a “Leviathan” action figure he saw in a Christian bookstore, and it got me thinking about some other biblical action figures that would be great tools to teach kids Bible stories:

1. Adam and Eve. The pre-fall Adam and Eve combo offers many teachable moments for teachers and parents who wish to explore the consequences of the first family’s fall into sin and expulsion from Eden.

2. Nebuchadnezzar. Like a biblical Transformers toy, the Nebuchadnezzar action figure can be converted from a noble king to a four-legged beast of the field in mere seconds.

3. Proverbs 31 Woman. This is a great alternative to Barbie, a toy which merely perpetuates feminine stereotypes. The P31 is a sensible, godly woman who balances the responsibilities of family with her entrepreneurial skills.

4. Woman/Beast Combo. For more mature children, Revelation’s “whore of Babylon” comes with a ravenous, seven-headed dragon to ride. Depending on your eschatological leanings, she may be accessorized with a bishop’s miter.

What other action figure ideas am I missing?

The recent story of a KJV-only church burning non-KJV Bibles got me thinking about the three main views of how God inspired holy texts:

1. Islam. God spoke through his prophet Muhammad, in Arabic, and Muhammad transcribed God’s words—in Arabic. Translation of the Quran into other languages is discouraged, because the Quran is only considered truly inspired and reliable in Arabic.

2. KJV-Only. Numerous authors penned the 66 books of the Old and New Testaments in Greek and Hebrew. However, it was not until 1,500 years later that God miraculously enabled King James’ clerics to compile and translate manuscripts into an English Bible that is now the only truly inspired and inerrant version available.

3. Classical Evangelical. The Holy Spirit led authors to pen 66 books in Greek and Hebrew—the original manuscripts of which are inspired, inerrant and authoritative. We no longer have any of these original documents, but the thousands of copies of these manuscripts that we do have allow us to reliably translate God’s Word into any language on earth.

Now, which of these two views are most similar?

I know I’m a bit late to the game with this book, but better late than never. Tim Keller’s The Prodigal God is a quick read, but it is both deep and convicting—particularly for those of us who have grown up in the church (the “older brothers” in Jesus’ parable of the two sons.)

For years I’ve accepted the premise that Keller argues in the book: that the famous parable is at its core an indictment on the self-righteous ones who refuse to rejoice at God’s extravagant and “prodigal” love for the lost. But Keller takes the argument further to expose the uncomfortable implications of the parable: that neither of the sons really love their Father and that only one is restored to fellowship in the end. If we really understand the story as Jesus intended it, it will likely offend our sense of common decency.

As Keller argues, if the gospel is like a lake, there is probably no other part of the New Testament in which the bottom of the lake can be more clearly seen than in this parable. It is a story about the devastating consequences of moralism and self-righteousness. Unless decent, upstanding “Christians” like you and me repent of our wretched tendency to think that we deserve God’s love because we follow His rules, we will end up like the older brother, watching our Father celebrating with prostitutes and tax collectors while we sit outside the gates sulking—and even hating Him for it.

My daughter was recently exposed to a “sex talk” by a well-meaning Christian fool. In the process of withholding my rage and re-educating her I once again became aware of how spiritually bankrupt the church becomes when it divorces the gospel from topics as important as sex.

The gist of the “talk” was an urban-legend style, fear-based appeal to stay out of bed, or you might end up like the girl who spent a crazy weekend with a guy, who afterward gave her an appreciation gift. When she opened the package it contained a little wood coffin, in which was a piece of paper with the words, “Welcome to the world of AIDS.”

Since when is it effective to use fear of death to keep teens out of trouble? My kids want to skydive, jump their bikes over ramps and pick up snakes. They crave danger and risk. Dare I say, it’s how God wired them?

This may sound harsh, but fear is the only wrench in the toolbox of biblically illiterate and immature Christians who are too lazy or ignorant to piece together an articulate biblical case for purity. But what happens when we find a cure for AIDS—and I pray we will? What happens when our advanced culture removes all the potential earthly consequences for sin—and we may?

I’ve often heard the phrase worked into sermons and books as a defense of free will: “God is a gentleman. He won’t make you do something you don’t want to do.” But it has never rung true to me—beside the fact that it portrays God as a polite (and even milquetoast) suitor, not the passionate Bridegroom, dangerous Warrior and omnipotent King we find in Scripture.

I don’t want a gentleman God, one who knocks once and leaves when no one answers, who encounters a funeral procession and keeps on walking lest He disturb the family, who meets a rich man and meekly suggests he give away a mere 10 percent of his worldly goods. Do you see where I’m going with this?

If God is who He says He is, He possesses the right to supersede my will and impose His own on my life, and doing so is not an act of intrusion, but of infinite grace. This is why Scripture describes conversion in terms of an infant being born, a slave being freed, a dead person being raised—all examples in which no free will is involved.

How do these dynamics interact with human choice? I’m still figuring that out, but I wonder if the concept of free will expressed in Christian circles is merely a Western invention that avoids the sometimes uncomfortable aspects of God’s sovereignty and puts humans in the driver’s seat where they don’t belong.

There has been a lot of talk lately about the importance of the church “engaging” culture. So, I offer here a brief, but helpful, primer on three ways you can engage culture this week:

Mimic It. This can be very lucrative, since Christians would prefer their hard-earned dollars go to a fellow Christian, not funding someone’s porn or drinking habit. The goal is to stay hip, but also make a spiritual statement. T-shirts and mugs can really make someone think about the emptiness of their life without God. How can it be wrong, when the product we’re advertising is life changing?

“Find God” in It. You may be surprised to discover that God can be found in many books, movies, TV shows and songs created by people who hate Him. He’s tricky that way. To help you find Him, you will need a book or small-group study written by someone who is knowledgeable in these various cultural artifacts. It takes an expert, because sometimes He’s wearing a vampire cape, or short and green He is and reverses His grammar He does.

Hate. When all else fails, it is important to inform our fallen culture that it is in fact fallen. For instance, if—by holding signs at their funerals and “weddings”—we make sure homosexuals and other sinners know where they are going, it’s possible that they will stop doing those dirty things that God hates and He will like them as much as He likes us.

The fact that some in Hollywood are defending child-rapist Roman Polanski reminded me of a cultural dynamic that I have been meaning to blog about. Having sex with children may have once been the “last taboo”—but not anymore. It would appear that the most socially egregious sin that one can commit these days is racism—and it is therefore the one sin we will never admit to committing.

We are misunderstood, like Joe Wilson. We are drunk, like Kanye West. We need anger management, like Michael Richards. We are doing our jobs, like the Cambridge police officers. But—get this straight—we are not racist.

How frequently we see the press conference featuring the public figure with tightly-pursed lips and loyal spouse by his side, admitting in sometimes lurid detail to all manner of criminal and immoral conduct. But have you ever seen someone stand up and openly confess this:

“The truth is, I hate black people. Racism is a dark secret in my past—a secret I thought I could conceal. I need help, and I’m getting it. Please respect my family at this difficult time. I’m so sorry for what I put them through.”

Why?