Yesterday’s sermon on spiritual warfare got me thinking about some of the myths about the devil that I’ve heard over the years.

The devil can hear you. I’ve often heard people recount conversations they’ve had with the devil—and I’m usually a bit suspicious of these claims. Although Satan is a powerful fallen angel, he is not omniscient or omnipresent. As a created being, he is limited by time and space just like you and I are. Satan may dispatch agents to observe your actions and words and report back to him, but attempting to speak to him, command him, personally debate with him, etc. is a fruitless enterprise.

Satan wants you miserable. From Satan’s perspective, unhappy, troubled, impoverished people have this unsavory habit of seeking God for solace. The devil’s priority is simultaneously your temporary comfort and your eternal torment. Consider this instruction from C.S. Lewis’s demon, Screwtape, to his protege: “Prosperity knits a man to the World. He feels that he is ‘finding his place in it,’ while really it is finding its place in him. His increasing reputation, his widening circle of acquaintances, his sense of importance, the growing pressure of absorbing and agreeable work, build up in him a sense of really being at home on Earth, which is just what we want.”

You have authority over Satan. While it is enjoyable to imagine us smashing the devil, it is not something that is in our capacity or authority. Scripture provides no precedent for direct battle with Satan beyond resisting him by submitting to God (James 4:7). Jesus rebuked the disciples for gloating about their success in expelling demons (Luke 10:20). Paul notes that Satan will be crushed under our feet—but that it is God who will do the crushing (Romans 16:20).

Are there other myths about the devil that you’ve encountered?

Christianity Today‘s interesting question earlier this week (“Should Christians fast during Ramadan?”) got me thinking about the identity of the god Muslims worship. Is he in some fashion the same deity as the God of the Bible?

Interestingly, Jesus encountered this question in His ministry, when the Pharisees questioned his bona fides in John 8:12-59. The text fairly sizzles, as supposedly “meek and mild” Jesus turns the tables on the Pharisees, calling them sons of Satan and warning these Law-abiding Jews that they will die in their sins because they don’t really know the Father.

Why? Because they didn’t know Jesus.

“You do not know me or my Father,” Jesus tells them. “If you knew me, you would know my Father also.” … “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and now am here. I have not come on my own; but he sent me.”

The God of the Old Testament—the God of the Bible—is the God who revealed Himself as a Middle Eastern peasant about 2,000 years ago. He was rejected by most of His own tribe, killed by a corrupt religious establishment in league with a pagan Roman government. God raised Him from the dead.

If you can’t swallow that, we don’t worship the same God.

My homie Jeff DM-ed me about a “Leviathan” action figure he saw in a Christian bookstore, and it got me thinking about some other biblical action figures that would be great tools to teach kids Bible stories:

1. Adam and Eve. The pre-fall Adam and Eve combo offers many teachable moments for teachers and parents who wish to explore the consequences of the first family’s fall into sin and expulsion from Eden.

2. Nebuchadnezzar. Like a biblical Transformers toy, the Nebuchadnezzar action figure can be converted from a noble king to a four-legged beast of the field in mere seconds.

3. Proverbs 31 Woman. This is a great alternative to Barbie, a toy which merely perpetuates feminine stereotypes. The P31 is a sensible, godly woman who balances the responsibilities of family with her entrepreneurial skills.

4. Woman/Beast Combo. For more mature children, Revelation’s “whore of Babylon” comes with a ravenous, seven-headed dragon to ride. Depending on your eschatological leanings, she may be accessorized with a bishop’s miter.

What other action figure ideas am I missing?