Comments on: Polyamory: It’s Perfectly Natural

By: Heather Green Shimansky

Heather Green Shimansky — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 04:14:24 +0000

Wow, wow, wow, Matthew, you opened an interesting can of worms with this blog write-up!
I agree with bman — you can only be 100% devoted to one person. No way around that, that is for sure. And if you are not 100% devoted to one person–then wouldn’t the other person who you are only 10%, 25% or whatever devoted to, have major jealousy and ego issues?–as will you as you would know you are being unfair and hurting people? But if a person has gotten to the point that they have multiple relationships like this, they’ve gotten to the point that they desensitize to those things.

Mmmm….the world is a lot worse off ever since people have began “loosening” the meaning of being in a singular covenant relationship with one’s spouse.–ever since people have begun seeking to have their needs met through ways other than how God created it to be (which we know–because of what God’s Word says—is one man, with one woman, in one marriage, for life). But if you don’t have respect for the Bible being THE WORD of GOD…..then, of course, anything goes (or just about as long as it doesn’t include animals or children).

And yes, we were made for only one thing–to Worship God. No one else will satisfy. So, why not be 100% devoted to God–then the rest of your life (love life, included) will fall into place according to how God created it to be–according to what lines up with HIS Word–one man, one woman, in marriage, for life.

By: Rick

Rick — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 12:59:21 +0000

We are making a mistake in arguing this point with people who are not regenerated. How can we expect people who have not accepted Christ to behave as Christians? These people who disagree with our position on this point are the very people who Christ would be eating and drinking with. His message to them would be one of love and acceptance regardless of their sins. Thank God he accepted me where I was (and am).
I’m not saying I think their position is right, but I do think it is consistent with their position toward God.

By: bman

bman — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 11:22:36 +0000

I guess I just don’t understand the idea of being 100% devoted to more than one person. It’s just not possible.

If I have two jobs (A and B), and I’m 100% devoted to the first, then my other job would suffer because I’d be spending all my time with job A. If I was truly 100% devoted to job A, I’d be getting overtime and picking up extra shifts and job B would fall by the wayside.

Mathematically speaking, you have 100% of devotion to give. You can’t give more than your 100% because it’s a percentage and 100% is the most you can give. So, if you gave job A 50%, you only have 50% more for job B, (or C, D, E, etc). Correct?

It may feel like you’re 100% devoted to your partner/spouse, but if there are feelings for others, then the number could well be 99%, but it cannot be 100%.

Now, as far as assumptions go, you are correct. I did assume that you are unmarried. I apologize for assuming. As I mentioned before, the idea of being married in an open relationship seems foreign to me and seems to go against the marriage vows that I spoke when I married my wife, but probably aren’t the same vows that you spoke.

This assumption isn’t based on your “relationship doesn’t look like [mine] that [yours] is less valid than [mine].” It’s based on the math that I’ve already mentioned.

Polygamy was not, however, based on something about the pope… That’s been around for longer than Catholicism. But it doesn’t really matter.

I am sorry if I offended. This was unintentional, and I guess I didn’t realize how worked up I’d get. I apologize for that.

Here’s some questions that I ask:

What drives you to be in relationships with another? What is it that the others have, that your partner/spouse does not?